Twilight actor, Taylor Lautner, broke cover this morning and accused his friend R-Pattz of scraping-out the last dribble of piss from the bottom of the 'Lowest Common Denominator' barrel.
"What's all this about Robert and Kristen spending the weekend in a nudist colony", yawned Lautner.
"It's not that the story's rubbish and completely untrue", he added. "Who the hell in our game gives a shit about truth?"
"It's Robert's constant, non-stop harping on and on and on. About anything and everything that's in any way suggestively to do with smut".
"As if that's all there is to talk about. His girlfriend's nipples, her breasts, the size of his penis, her nude photos in PlayGuy, her upcoming nude calendar, peeing on lamposts, her wardrobe malfunctions, her see-through bikinis".
"Put it this way", moaned Lautner. "If Pattinson does it, everyone else does it. Sex stories are like nuclear proliferation. If someone's using nuclear weapons - then anyone else wanting to be heard has to have the bomb".
"So I said to Rob", continued Lautner. "I said, quit being a nincompoop. We've all stopped putting out this crap. Take a look around. You're about the only one left".
"Think what you're doing mate. You're still a young man. What if you woke up and found yourself still peddling sleaze when you're sixty?"
"Give it a rest eh".
"Otherwise we'll all start again".
And it'll be back to square one".
"A world wallowing in non-stop meaningless, illiterate shit".
This is Juanita Juan, chatting with Taylor Lautner, for CJ News
А също така, Тейлърчо е бил засечен да се донапомпва за следващите си проекти. Ето и малко доказателства:
